My Approach

My Unique Approach to Parenting

Many parenting coaches focus heavily on teaching tools and tactics. Although this is an important part of my program, it’s not where I place the most emphasis.

When I was struggling as a parent, I first turned to learning new tools. I spent many frustrating hours trying to memorize what to say and what not to say to my kids. I was eager to have the perfect responses ready to go. These attempts were not only frustrating and overwhelming but also futile.

Why? Because even given the chance to memorize all of my fancy new lines, the best parenting tools in the world wouldn’t work until I addressed the real issues.

For one thing, parenting is not “one size fits all.” Applying a generic “3 Step Bedtime Tool” never worked because it didn’t address WHY my child was misbehaving. For example, there are a million reasons why a child may resist bedtime. For true, long-term behavior change I needed to identify, address and solve for the underlying issues, triggers and lagging skills.

I also needed to change the way I was showing up. As well meaning as I was, I was unintentionally making things worse by not properly managing my own emotions, beliefs and expectations.

Janell outside

I needed to flip the whole parenting paradigm upside down.

Doing this required a brand new solution-based approach to parenting. I needed to change my focus 

FROM

Punishing misvehavior

Controlling my child

Compliance

TO

Addressing lagging skills

Controlling myself

Connection

Flipping the parenting script works!  Not only has it worked for me but the parents that I’ve coached. I’ve developed FLIP, a four-part framework to empower parents:

F Focus on mindset. Start by figuring out what you really want for your kids and for your family. Then identify the thoughts and beliefs that may be getting in your way so you can parent with intention.

L Learn to self-regulate. Once you’re clear on your intentions, practice observing your emotions. Respond, rather than react to achieve the most productive outcomes. 

I  Increase connection. Now that you’ve empowered yourself first, you’re ready to create healthier relationships with your kids. A strong connection is essential to successful parenting.

P Pick and practice new tools. As you build these healthier relationships, you can learn new strategies to replace the ones that aren’t working.

empowered Parenting

Connection-based

Mutual respect

Focus on solving the root of the misbehavior

Popular Tools: Natural consequences & problem solving

Long-term solutions

Warm, nurturing, responsive

Relationships built on trust

“Let’s figure this out together.”

Rules/expectations are firm and fair

Kids are internally motivated

conventional Parenting

Compliance based

One-way communication

Focus on punishing the misbehavior itself

Popular tools: Punishments and reward

Short-term solutions

Cold, unresponsive

Relationships built on fear

“Do as I say.”

Rules/expectations are strict, absolute

Kids are externally motivated

Which solution is best for you?

ONLINE MEMBERSHIP

Join a supportive, judgment-free community of like-minded parents all learning and practicing a new, more effective and respectful way to parent.

private coaching

Let’s work together to address your specific parenting challenges and help you tackle the things getting in the way of being the parent you want to be.

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